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Topic: will everyone leave?
new_guy_ray
Posted on: 7/11/2008 9:41:15 PM

fingerz wrote:
queenofdenial wrote:
I have found that sense I became more ill and unable to do the things I use to it seems my family has become more distant. At times somewwhat abusive with hurtful words. It has always been very hared for me to ask for help, but now it is even harder so I will go without even though I know I can not do it Ive become afraid to ask. I do not have a large support system so I really do not know what to do. Does anyone have any suggestions or understand my situation?

Thanks Anna

i to felt that my family were becoming somewhat detached from me, especially my children, after my accident, i had overian cancer in 2004, after struggling threw treatment, got the all clear in 2006, then bam!! got run off the road by drink driver. this left me with severe injuries to my back, which causes chronic pain. i had ops to at least give me my mobility back, but the pain will always be with me as more surgery will result in my being confined to a wheelchair..my hand also was damaged and after a finger amputation and a gazilllion ops to reconstruct it, i began to look at things differently, i relized, i wasn't a nice person to be around, at that time, i was infact expecting my family and friends in some cases, to know what i was thinking, without me explaining to them.i was so frustrated at my lack of independence, i expected them to no how i felt and how could they , ??? they hadn't the limations i had, or the pain. what worked for me, was consulting my doctor, who put me in touch with a support group, that took the burden off my family, giving me advice on everything from pain, to just popping in to say hi..to doing the weekly shop for me, now the kids have there mom back and not this crazy lady in a chair....regards jay
Edited on: 7/11/2008 9:50:39 PM 

Reason to edit: Man! (or woman)...I had constat (sp) chronic pain...in my right whole side body...strokes, accidents, etc...
queenofdenial
Posted on: 8/23/2008 4:13:29 PM

new_guy_ray wrote:
fingerz wrote:
queenofdenial wrote:
I have found that sense I became more ill and unable to do the things I use to it seems my family has become more distant. At times somewwhat abusive with hurtful words. It has always been very hared for me to ask for help, but now it is even harder so I will go without even though I know I can not do it Ive become afraid to ask. I do not have a large support system so I really do not know what to do. Does anyone have any suggestions or understand my situation?

Thanks Anna

i to felt that my family were becoming somewhat detached from me, especially my children, after my accident, i had overian cancer in 2004, after struggling threw treatment, got the all clear in 2006, then bam!! got run off the road by drink driver. this left me with severe injuries to my back, which causes chronic pain. i had ops to at least give me my mobility back, but the pain will always be with me as more surgery will result in my being confined to a wheelchair..my hand also was damaged and after a finger amputation and a gazilllion ops to reconstruct it, i began to look at things differently, i relized, i wasn't a nice person to be around, at that time, i was infact expecting my family and friends in some cases, to know what i was thinking, without me explaining to them.i was so frustrated at my lack of independence, i expected them to no how i felt and how could they , ??? they hadn't the limations i had, or the pain. what worked for me, was consulting my doctor, who put me in touch with a support group, that took the burden off my family, giving me advice on everything from pain, to just popping in to say hi..to doing the weekly shop for me, now the kids have there mom back and not this crazy lady in a chair....regards jay



I can relate to all the above it is hard when you find yourself in the position of being on the receving end of care. All my life I was the caregiver and gave all of myself to family and friends. Now I'm on the other end and it seems so hard to ask for help even food when you need it. I guess it is that look that you see in someones eyes when you just feel you have become a burden to them. I really feel it is most important to try and form a support system of people that are in the same boat so to speak. Because as the saying goes unless you have walked in my shoes do not judge . I feel it helps more to have people in your life that understand what it is like to be disabled rather than people that think they will never be in our shoes. Some people are capable of unconditional love but i beleive most are not so to the caregiver or loved one unless they have been in our shoes I do not think for the most part it is possible for them to feel what we feel.
Hugs,,,,,AnnaAngelAngel

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